10 Biggest Mistakes Women Make Before Getting Married by Sue Dillicar

10. Believing in ‘..and they lived happily ever after”. Women are fed romantic ideals from the day they are born. Books and movies aimed at girls invariably promote the big wedding to the perfect man as the ideal ending, from Snow White to Hilary Duff, from fairy tales to Mills and Boon. Is it any wonder women don’t tend to look past the romance of the wedding to the 50 or so years of marriage that follows! The truth is, marriage is hard work! A more realistic perspective would be that marriage is about 20% happiness, 30% contentment and 50% plain hard work! Going into marriage with a realistic attitude will prevent a lot of disappointment.
9. Believing that they can change him. Women have a tendency to gloss over qualities they don’t like in a man, telling themselves ‘oh, he’ll change’ or ‘I’ll work on that’. It doesn’t work, because you can’t force a person to change. If you do manage to bully him into changing, your relationship will suffer. Either accept and enjoy the differences between you or create an environment that encourages him to want to change for you.

8. Believing that he will always be romantic. Often women have very unrealistic expectations based on the way their partner behaved during the courtship phase. Unfortunately, most men heave a big sigh of relief once they have won you because they think ‘hey, I can relax now and stop doing all that girly stuff’! That doesn’t mean you have to give up on romance, just don’t expect a ‘grand gesture’ every day.

7. Losing self. Getting into an intense relationship before they’ve developed a clear sense of their own identity is another common mistake young women make. Without a clear sense of self, women identify overly with their partner and find it difficult to stand up for themselves and their own needs. A woman with a strong sense of identity, however, is a more interesting and equal partner.

6. Giving up friends and interests. With the thrill of being in love, it is too easy for women to put friends and family, hobbies and sports on the backburner. This is a fundamental mistake to make because a) women depend on support networks throughout their lives and b) men just can’t be everything to a woman. It is asking too much of them. It is important to maintain a happy balance in your life.

5. Rushing into marriage. It almost seems to be a race across the wedding finishing line for many young women. Marriage can last an eternity, but your single 20s only last a decade at the most! Don’t rush into it. Just because you found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, doesn’t mean you have to marry him straight away. Enjoy your youth so that you will not have any regrets later.

4. Not having conversations about serious issues. Talk to your partner about where you both stand on issues that can make or break a marriage. Talk about the number of children you both want, are you intending to stay home to raise them, where your priorities lie, spending styles, dreams and goals, where you see yourself 20 years from now, parenting styles, sharing of responsibilities, etc. You need to know beforehand if his beliefs are incompatible with yours. This alone can determine how happy or conflicted your marriage is.

Also, have discussions about ground rules. Negotiations should be conducted before you sign on the dotted line. Too many of us rush into marriage and then spend the first decade negotiating the details! Sit down and nut out the details before you get married. Work out the basic rules that you both need to follow in order to have a happy marriage. It is important to be realistic, though, and to not agree to any rules that you know are unreasonable. Sex every day may work for him but it probably won’t for you! Also, realize that these rules may need to be renegotiated now and then, such as when you have children.

3. Having sex before sussing out the guy. Research shows that women are genetically programmed to fall in love with someone they have sex with. Make sure that he is someone you have the potential to be happy with, before you jump into bed with him! Afterwards, your hormones are likely to override your commonsense. This is how the Bree Van Der Camps of the world find themselves married to the Tommy Lee Jones of the world! Sometimes this work because your fundamental beliefs are the same but don’t let your hormones make that decision for you.

2. Settling. A lot of women start to panic if they aren’t married by their mid-20s, and god forbid they reach 30 without being married! That ol’ biological clock starts ticking loudly. The result is that they make excuses and rationalizations to themselves about a relationship that is already dull and past its use-by date, or which they know has serious issues. Marrying someone because you are afraid to be alone is unfair to yourself and your partner. Someone once said ‘I don’t want to spend a lifetime turning a bad relationship into an average one; I want to start with a good relationship and make it a great one’. Hear, hear.

And the No. 1 mistake women make is

1. Getting married because they are ‘in love’. Being in love is not a good enough reason to marry. We can fall in love for many reasons - it doesn’t mean the man you have fallen in love with will be a good partner. Choosing a good partner makes all the difference between having a harmonious marriage and a difficult marriage. You need to seriously question how well you two can work together for a lifetime. Do you complement each other? Does he make you feel like a better person or a lesser one?

I fell in love with 3 completely different men before I finally married. If I had married the first man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with an adrenaline junkie which would have stressful for a couch-and-book lover like me; if I had married the second man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with a compulsive cheater; and if I had married the third man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with an emotionally stunted husband. Each taught me a valuable lesson about what I wanted in a husband. The result is that I married a good man who still spoils me 20 years later.

Marriage can be a wonderful experience. It can be painful, frustrating, hilarious, comforting, annoying and tender. How much it leans to either end of the happiness spectrum depends on you making a good choice of partner at the beginning.

About the Author
Sue Dillicar is a mother and freelance writer with a background in research, analysis and working with children. She currently assists businesses with research, editing, journalling and design services.

B.A; GD. Mgt, Dip. Childcare, Dip. Computing

Everybody Needs Romance! by Ruth Purple

We all have our own definition of romance: it is a nicely-written love poem, a breakfast in bed, or an adorable puppy at your doorstep. It is a very important ingredient for every successful and passionate relationship, whether it’s still in the budding phase or running for more than 30 years already. Relationships usually start out with a bang, with romance at its sweetest and finest. But, life’s drudgery is always likely to interfere, and it is pushed aside for more pressing issues such as work, family and kids. Is it the fate of romance to wane and fade in the later stages of a relationship? Let’s find some answers to the common questions about romance: Are romance and sex one and the same? No, these are two very different things, although romance can ultimately lead to sex.
There are people who can be romantic just for the sake of romancing their partner, but there are also people who are only romantic because of sex. The latter is usually transparent and quite insincere, which could possibly backfire. On the other hand, being romantic without expecting anything in return will let your partner know that not only did you think about them, but you took the extra mile to show them how special they are to you. Is romance more important than our daily tasks? Daily tasks usually include jobs, hobbies, PTA meetings, and kids. These and many other things that life throws at us and what we think as more important often cause our relationship with our partner to be pushed aside.

What a lot of us fail to realize is that a strong relationship holds everything else in our life together. Romance is the spice that ultimately makes the relationship more thrilling and more pleasant as well. Is it ever possible to be romantic with very little time, effort and money to spare? No matter what time of day, it is always possible. Often, it’s the littlest things that count, such as opening the door for one’s partner, or giving him/her the day off from household chores. Although it would be romantic to be taken away on a luxurious yacht or be surprised with an expensive sports car, these cost a lot of money which most of us only dream about.

It’s the everyday gestures that can make a difference in the relationship. What matters more is your creativity and imagination to make your spouse feel special and loved. Are women the only ones born with a romantic bone? There is no doubt that women are more emotional, but it doesn’t mean that they are supposed to be the romantic one in the relationship. Romance is never gender-specific: both men and women need to play a part in spicing up their love life. Besides, no one is born with a romantic bone or gene. Every person has to learn the ropes if he/she wants to be romantic.

Is always saying “I Love You” enough? It’s nice to hear “I Love You”, but actions can speak volumes more than a thousand words. Do something that your partner will surely like and forever remember, like composing a romantic song specially made for him/her. Do it when your spouse least expects it–impulsiveness and spontaneity can make any relationship exciting and successful.

About the Author
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

How To Win My Ex Back FAQ by Jason BBHan

How to win my ex back after a break up? If you have already broken up with your ex, you will probably have many questions in your mind and you want them to be answered.
Well, there are indeed tons of questions that many people have after breaking up with their ex. Let us just look at one of those questions. Perhaps, you happen to have these questions in your mind too.

1) How to win my ex back? Is it really possible to win an ex back after breaking up?

A lot of times, people might think that a break up is the end of the relationship with their ex and there is no way that the relationship can be salvaged.

Well, this is definitely not true. Of course, there is no 100 % success rate. Ultimately, certain relationships are doom to fail from the start, due to incompatibility or other factors like violence, abuse, infidelity etc.

However, a good deal of break ups that happens everyday can indeed be saved. Just look around you. I am sure you have heard of people getting back together even in the most impossible of situations.

For example, people getting back together after years of separation. People getting back together after multiple affairs.

Of course, the above example is not to encourage you to commit affairs. But just to remind you that a break up is not the end of your relationship. What is important is that you must not give up so easily. It is indeed possible if you are wondering how to win your ex back.

About the Author
How To Win My Ex Back

Are you making these common mistakes? Watch a 9 minute video that shows you what these mistakes are so that you will not make them again. You will also learn how to salvage the situation if it is already too late and you have already made those mistakes.

How To Win My Ex Back

5 Tips To Meeting Women- Meeting Women Made Easy! by Tips 4 Men

We all love new Tips To Meet Women. We all think that there is some new and fascinating tip that lies just around the corner that is going to have us busier than the proverbial one armed paper hanger. In reality, most tips are just common sense that we all seem to either overlook or refuse to use and in reality, these are the tips that have worked effectively down through the ages.
Granted, meeting women can be a daunting task for many. So let’s take a look at some tips to meeting women that might help you boost the activity of your social calendar. Ready to get started? Good. Lets dive in.

Lets start by changing your mindset about where you want to meet women. OK? Think about this for a second, most men prefer to meet women in crowded bar and nightclubs and that’s fine, but you face lot’s of competition and lots of distractions. So why not explore other avenues? Find places that have lots of women and less competition! Places like the yoga class at your gym, maybe a coffee shop around a tanning salon. Can you see the thinking on that? And if you sit down and think about it, you’ll start to come up with even more ideas on places that the majority of men have no clue that even exist.

Now here is another one of those Tips To Meet Women that might get overlooked but it works in just about any setting. When you see a woman you would like to meet, assess the surroundings you are both in and pick a moment where it seems she will most likely not feel interrupted and at ease. Then you use a confident approach and ask her a question. Now please don’t ask something silly or foolish, be creative, notice something about her and comment on it. Be confident and make sure to establish eye contact and most of all, be at ease.

Hopefully by now you’re getting the idea that many of the Tips To Meet Women are just plain common sense sprinkled with a bit of creativity. Being more successful in the dating game isn’t really all that hard, it just takes a little thinking and practice.

About the Author
Are these all the best Tips To Meet Women? Of course not. Discover even more proven tips to meeting women by Clicking Here and quit spending your nights with a large pizza and the TV remote.